The Love They Kept Hidden
by XxAyaChanXx
Summary: Ok so i decided to continue the story!  What would happen If Tsunade had confessed her love for Jiraiya? And if she did, would she react differently when he dies? Fluffish lime in chapter 2!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is kind of a prequel and also my first fanfiction. Comments HUGELY appreciated! :D**

…And she watched him walk away.

Unable to admit to herself the inevitable truth that he would never return. Tears collected in her eyes as her feelings of love for Jiraiya begged her to run after him. Unable to take it any longer, she sprung up from the park bench and began sprinting toward his shrinking figure. With tears flowing freely from her eyes, she began screaming his name.

As he turned around at the sound of her voice, she slammed into him and buried his face in her chest, crying softly. "Jiraiya, you can't do this…you can't do this to me…don't leave me…Please." She hated to beg, but she was desperate. Jiraiya looked down at her and smiled. He gently lifted her chin and, wiping her tears, kissed her tenderly. "I'll always be with you Hime. You know that. Let me walk you home."

Jiraiya walked back to the Hokage tower with Tsunade by his side, a somber look still on her face. But Jiraiya knew her too well. "Tsunade, I know that look. What is bothering you?" Tsunade looked at him with eyes that could break even the hardest of hearts. He knew right there and then what she wanted.

"Jiraiya, with you gone, I'll be all alone. Almost everyone I love will have been taken away from me…" Jiraiya looked at her and, as they approached the Hokage tower, whispered in her ear, "We still have tonight…" She smiled. "I knew you'd catch on, Baka"


	2. Chapter 2

Jiraiya carefully led her upstairs to her bedroom. The sun had just set in Konoha and it was a perfectly romantic night. The moon was bright and the stars lit up the sky. Tsunade gently blushed as Jiraiya removed her jacket, slowly unveiling inch after inch of milky skin. She lifted her arms and placed her hands on his strong chest. Her big amber eyes stared back at him.

Full of love.

Full of desire.

Full of need.

Jiraiya carefully bent and kissed her passionately. Her emotions flooded her body and she was enveloped in this sense of perfection. She moaned slightly as he began kissing her neck; and shuddered as he moved to the exposed areas of her chest, leaving behind a trail of kisses. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they fell down to the bed. Flurries of kisses and moans of 'I love you' in between floated about the room.

Jiraiya carefully removed her gray, kimono style shirt with his big, gentle hands. Tsunade's lips curled into a smile under his as his hands roamed up and down her bare torso. He never would have imagined how perfectly his hands fit with her curves. They moved from around her breasts to her hips so perfectly he was almost convinced that he and Tsunade were made for no one else but each other.

By this time, Jiraiya's clothes had been shed and on the floor. He gave Tsunade, still trying to catch her breath, a look as if asking her permission. She smiled and said tiredly, "You've made me wait all these years. Don't make me wait any longer." She tilted her head back and her dreams were realized. Jiraiya carefully slid himself inside of her. Her breath suddenly left her and her eyes grew wide. All she felt was this perfect oneness with Jiraiya. "After all these years, I never thought it would be like this." She thought to herself. What she felt was complete ecstasy with him and him with her. To the point where she was almost screaming with pleasure.

Jiraiya had been with lots of women before, but this was different. It was never this full of pleasure. And she was like no other. The feel of her skin, the beauty of her face, the gloriousness of her moan. He loved her.

When it was over, he just about collapsed on top of her. Trembling, he lay down next to her and cradled her in his arms. She felt so safe and warm in his arms. "Tsunade, I love you so much." He told her as he gently held her. "Jiraiya, I love you too. Since we were young. But I never admitted it to myself. I was too afraid to get close to anyone after I lost Dan." She confessed. He put a delicate hand on her cheek. "Hime, it's ok. I'm here now, I've got you." She smiled. "I know, Jiraiya, I know" and with that, they both fell asleep in each other's arms on the most perfect night of their lives.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter 3! Yes! I got some really cool inspiration for this one! Being a lovesick teenager really has its perks sometimes! Ha! ^_^ R/R**

Tsunade awoke to a bright sunshine that blanketed her face. The birds were pleasantly chirping and a warm summer breeze came in through the open window. She smiled as memories of the past night filled her head. She could still smell traces of his scent on her skin. It was enough to make her shudder.

Tsunade gently rolled over, expecting to see a still sleeping Jiraiya. She wanted to kiss him awake and talk about their future. But he was not there. The smile swiftly left her face as she sat up, holding the sheets to her naked body with one hand and the other hand pressed to her forehead. She began breathing heavily and began jumping to conclusions out of pure shock. _Was he ashamed of being with me? Was he afraid I was drunk and would kill him when I came to? Was I not good enough for him? Oh God, was I not good enough for him? Was all he wanted a one-night stand? _

Panic arose in her chest as she figured out the real reason. _He went after the Akatsuki. _Tsunade flew out of bed, threw on her clothes, and began tearing up the room. She didn't even know what she was searching for. After a few minutes of useless searching and scrambling about the room, something caught her eye. A note. It was addressed to her. He must have left it. With the panic beginning to settle and being replaced by utter dread, she slowly sat down and read it.

_**Tsunade**_

_I have gone off to fight the Akatsuki. It tears my heart out to leave you now, after what happened between us, but it had to be done. I had to do whatever I could to protect the village, to protect Naruto, to protect you. Just throw everything you've got into that bet we made! That ought 'a do it! And when I win, I'm going to give you everything you deserved in life but never got. Happiness, Hope, and Love. Yes you deserve it all. Never try to tell yourself otherwise. I love you! I always have! And I'm grateful that we got to be together before I had to leave. Well you know why. Anyway I hope you truly understand how much I love you and why I had to do this. Thank you for everything._

_See you around,_

_Jiraiya_

The tears started falling a while ago. She couldn't help them nor did she want to. She was filled with sorrow and anger. Her world came crashing down, for she knew the inevitable. All she could do was sit on her bed and weep. She sat there, the tears falling, only to be interrupted by a knock on her bedroom door.

It was early morning in the land of fire. Jiraiya sat on a tree branch only miles away from the border. He tried shaking the feelings of hatred for himself, but to no avail. _I left her. I can't believe I left her. After she begged me not to. What kind of disgusting person does that? _He felt so disgusted in himself, he had to stop and throw up maybe once or twice.

He knew he had to do something about this feeling. He told himself when he returned, they would go and get married, pour their love out to each other, and live a happy life. He used this as a motive to persevere. To never give up. That was his 'nindo'. And he was ready to give everything for her.

Not long after, Jiraiya came to a familiar sight.

One he had seen some 30 years before.

The land of Amekagure;

the land of the Hidden Rain.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finally got this written! XD so i havnt seen the Jiraiya/Pain fight, but I know the jist of what happens so bear with me! ;)**

Jiraiya walked through the crowded streets of the Hidden Rain village. A large, black cloak draped over his body. His research had told him precisely where the Akatsuki leader would be. He kept his head down and walked briskly as to keep a low profile. No doubt he was nervous. He had heard stories and seen firsthand of what these people were capable of.

He knew he wasn't coming home.

As he approached the designated area, he was startled by a sudden chakra flare behind him. He spun around just in time to see a shinobi with long orange hair and the Rinnegan. "_Nagato?" _Jiraiya said, eyes widening. The mysterious ninja eyed himcarefully. "Jiraiya-sensei." He lunged, going for an awe-struck Jiraiya's Throat.

Tsunade stood staring out of her office window. Her thoughts distracting her from her work. Shizune had brought up the subject of Jiraiya and she couldn't handle that. Not now. She tried to avoid the topic.

"This awful rain just keeps falling…"

"Tsunade-sama please stop changing the subject!"

She sighed. "Shizune…I can't talk about this now…"

I'm sure Jiraiya-sama will be fine! I mean it's him so…"

"He's not coming back…" she cut in.

Shizune was shocked at her words. "That was my bet against him." She smiled. "And I never win my bets!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." She left. Leaving Tsunade to her thoughts.

She hated putting on that fake smile to convince her that everything was ok. It wasn't. She felt awful. All she could think about was him. His face, his smile reserved just for her, his dark, powerful eyes, the way he would hold her and caress her face and wipe her tears the way only he could. And she knew, in the darkest depths of her heart, a place she never dared to venture, that he truly wasn't coming home. A crystal tear rolled down her face and shattered on the cold wood floor.

Jiraiya stood in awe as two other ninja appeared next to the one he believed to be Nagato with the same shade of hair and the same Rinnegan.

_How can there be four Rinnegan bearers? This makes no sense! What's going on here? _

"Come on Jiraiya-sensei." One said. "Let's see what you can do."

One of the three men came running towards his hiding place. Jiraiya, after transforming into sage mode, appeared out of nowhere and delivered a bone-shattering kick to the face, blinding the man. The force of the kick sent him reeling back to his teammates. "Not bad.." remarked 'Nagato'.

Jiraiya used his two frog mentors on his shoulders to produce a wave of boiling oil. The third shinobi quickly threw his hands down to absorb the jutsu. A flustered Jiraiya tried one of his quicker techniques, kemari senbon. But only to be more quickly blocked by the first's summon.

Jiraiya became frustrated and realized this was going nowhere. Somethig suddenly exploded behind him, creating a large cloud of almost purple smoke. He saw this as an opportunity to go for the blind one, getting behind him and throwing a punch to the back of his head. Jiraiya felt a sense of victory. But that victory was short lived as the blind ninja put up his hand to catch Jiraiya's. He was now thoroughly confused. None of the others communicated with him and he was able to block the attack. Pulling back, he sent one of his frogs out of the smoke and back to the village as he disappeared into the large pipes with a puff of smoke.

During his time in the pipes, he had thought of a plan. He was going to use a genjutsu. It is not his strong suit, but with his two frog elders on his shoulders, he shouldn't have a problem. He also figured out that the ninja's Rinnegan are somehow connected. They can each see exactly what the other two are seeing. Which explains how the blind one knew his every move. It was time to put his plan into action. He quickly whipped up a shadow clone. And the frogs began their song. When the shinobi traveled to the sound of the croaking, Jiraiya's shadow clone produced the 'fire breathing' technique. Occupying the absorption shinobi.

Now only one was focusing on him. As the other two leapt to avoid the fire, the one that gripped it was caught in Jiraiya's 'Swamp of the Underworld' Technique. As 'Nagato' took advantage of the stuck ninja to avoid being stuck himself, the genjutsu was complete. To each other, they were trapped in a glass box filled with water held by four large decorated frogs. While in reality, they were lifeless on the ground. "You got us."

"This is not the path I would have chosen for you, Nagato. I expected more. Goodbye." Jiraiya stood looking at the bodies of the three ninja. Blades lodged in each of their stomachs. _What a shame… _He thought. _He could have been a great ninja. _Jiraiya began to walk away with Fugasaku still on his shoulder. "Well done, Jiraiya-chan." Jiraiya smiled.

Suddenly someone appeared at his back. A bald shinobi with what looked like spikes surrounding his head. "Didn't you allways teach me to never turn my back on my opponent? Jiraiya-sensei." And with that he was thrown through the concrete of the building. His left arm having been torn off in the process.

He flew down to the water below, trying to stop himself. Finally coming to a standstill and using his chakra to stand on the water, he turned to face his attacker. Blood trickled out of his arm. Six orange haired shinobi stood on the ledge above, including the three he just defeated. "The must have used some reanimation jutsu on them!" the female frog on his shoulder said.

A shout came from the ledge. "In attendance! The Six Paths of Pain!" Jiraiya looked up and noticed all six of them had the Rinnegan. This was impossible! "So the first one wasn't Nagato after all…What is going on?" He had to know. He decided that even if he would lose everything: his dream of watching Naruto become Hokage, his dream of marrying Tsunade, he'd have to find the truth. It was for the well-being of the whole world! He had to know the secret behind the Six Paths of Pain!

**A/N: Kind of long and boring i know. The next chapter will be better tho. I promise. Let me know your thoughts! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

"Pain. What the hell are you!" Jiraiya stood on top of the water. Blood falling from his severed arm. He stood staring at his former student. " We are Pain…" Pause " We are God." Blur. That's all Jiraiya could see. This blood loss must be getting to him. He looked up at the white sky, now marred with six black figures that were getting larger and larger. It took him a second to finally realize exactly what was coming toward him. He moved with an almost delayed reaction, but still impressive for a man of his condition. Blocking every single attack thrown at him from the six paths.

"A _god_?" He was not any closer to finding his answer. Suddenly the wall began crashing down behind him. Pushing off a large piece of dubris, he dove into the water and created a barrier inside the stomache of one of his frogs. Swiftly and silently, his partners wrapped their tounges aroung the two legs of one of the paths and dragged him inside, where Jiraiya surprised him with a rasengan causing him to cough up blood and fall into the gastric fluids. He stood there, breathing hevily. "I used up all that chakra just defeating one. And that was after dragging him into my barrier. Theyre not gonna fall for the same thing again yet alone 5 more times!" "Jiraiya-chan! I suggest we leave while we still can!" Suddenly the orange haired ninja sprung out from the acid, and with his last breath, stabbing Jiraiya with his rod before falling dead before him. The rod went straight through his only arm and torso, puncturing his right lung and causing him to choke up more blood. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. "Are you alright Jiraiya-chan?" Jiraiya managed to choke out two words. "I'll manage." With one fluid motion, he snapped the rod in two, causing a huge amount of pain to wrack through him. "My body! My chakra's going berserk!" Once the rest of the rod was removed from him he almost fell over with exhaustion. He took the time to study the dead shinobi in front of him. His headband fell from his head and Jiraiya remembered the scar that was hidden behind it. After all, he was the one who gave it to him. Jiraiya finally had figured it out! The secret of the six Paths! He told one of the frogs on his shoulders to take the body back to Tsunade.

Jiraiya left the barrier along with Fukasaku to confirm his hunch. When he surfaced, he was hidden behind a rock, out of sight of all five. He took out a giant shuriken and threw it at the nearest one. After inspecting all their faces, he knew. All the shinobi there he had encountered before. Before being able to think, he was thrust upward by the neck. The shinobi crushing it with his bare hand. Jiraiya coughed up more blood. _My throat…_ glancing upward, he saw the rest of them diving in for the kill. At the same time, they thrust their rods deep into Jiraiya's back. Almost pinning him to the ground. Blood pouring from his wounds, Jiraiya tried to speak, but knew it was no use. His throat was completely crushed. Lying there, he began thinking. "Looking back, my life's been full of failures. I've always been rejected by Tsunade. I was unable to save my friend. Unable to protect my teacher and student." He smiled. "At least it didn't all go to waste. Naruto is strong. He will become Hokage, I know it! And Tsunade, I've got her…I've finally got her. She's the most perfect woman anyone could ever ask for. If only I could return to her now…"

Just then an idea popped into his head. "I have to let them know!" Now, rounding up every ounce of strength he had left in his mangled body, he brought himself up to his knees and turned his head to the frog, who immediately understood. He jumped off of Jiraiya's shoulder and landed in front of him. Jiraiya then gathered his remaining chakra and focused it into his finger. With all his might, he began to compose his final message on Fukasaku's back. His sudden energy caused one of the paths to turn around. "I was sure his heart had stopped…let's finish this." And one of the Paths fired a missile straight for him.

Jiraiya smiled, satisfied with his message and his end. The frog leapt away from the oncoming missile as it blasted Jiraiya into the ocean. As he floated to the depths, he was more satisfied to the end of his story, thinking Naruto's story has just begun. He sunk a few more feet before losing consciousness, but he could have sworn he saw a looming black figure coming closer and closer to him in the murky water.

XXxxXX

Tsunade sat on the ledge of her favorite gazebo. One hand on her stomach and the other holding her sake bottle, exept filled with green tea upon Shizune's insistence. All afternoon, she was dozing off, thinking of Jiraiya and what might happen when he returned. She was just about to fall asleep when the feeling came. A feeling that came from the depths of her chest. A feeling that was all to familiar. "No…No!" Tears came. "This cant be happening! Not again!" she dropped her bottle and ran back to where Shizune was sitting. "Tsunade-sama! What happened?" She sobbed. "Shizune! Something's wrong! Something happened to him!" Shizune, in her most comforting voice, responded, "Calm down, Tsunade-sama. I'm sure he's Ok. It's just the hormones. Just the hormones." "Ok…I'm sure your right. I have been acting a little off the these past few weeks haven't I? Oh well. Let's go back. There's a lot more paperwork that needs to be done." They walked back to the Hokage tower without another word. The frog that had been observing them now decided to jump back into the water and float off into the great ocean.

A/N: Whoa, suspense! What/who is the black figure? Suggestions welcome ;) and whats Tsunade's deal? i guess we'll find out! :)


	6. Chapter 6

Months had passed and there was still no sign of Jiraiya. Tsunade decided to distract herself once again perched on her windowsill with her legs to her chest and hands cradling her stomach; which was now protruding a few inches from her body. All day she sat there thinking. Gazing off at the main gaits of the village, awaiting his return. Lost in thought, she hadn't even noticed Shizune walk in the room.

Concerned for her master, Shizune had decided that enough was enough. "Tsunade-sama, I understand you're worried, but it's time to get this paperwork done! You are the Hokage after all. The village won't run itself!" Tsunade didn't say a word, but let out a sigh, got up, and sat at her desk. The paperwork from the last few days had really piled up. There were missions and other important documents that needed signing, so she quickly got to it. Not too long had passed before a knock at the door brought her up from her work. "What is it now, Shizune?" she said, a little annoyed. Shizune entered slowly, a pained expression on her face. "What? What is it?" Tsunade asked again, strain in her voice. Shizune stepped aside and behind her, riding on the head of a slightly larger toad, was Fukasaku of the Toad village, one of Jiraiya's mentors. Her jaw dropped slightly and she was concerned why Jiraiya was not with him. She expected him to tell her he was recovering. That Pain was dead and he was ok. She waited. Hoped. Her eyes grew wide as he spoke.

"Tsunade-chan, I would like a word."

"Go ahead then." She said, trying to keep calm. She wanted details and wanted them now.

He looked disheveled, like he was trying to find the words. He picked up his gaze with much sadness in his eyes. It felt like hours before he spoke again. What he said next nearly broke her. Nearly sent her plummeting back to the world of darkness.

"Jiraiya-chan has fallen in battle."

Boom. She was frozen. Numb. She felt nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing. In an almost dark sense of remorse. Then it hit her. The pain. The unbearable pain that she has only felt twice before. Except this time it was worse. Much, much worse. She felt as if this darkness would swallow her body. Crush her. The want to die and be with him again was so over powering. But being Tsunade, she was able to keep it all inside. She couldn't speak, for she feared if she unclenched her jaw, it would all come loose. She just sat there, eyes closed and a immobile.

The frog continued. "You may need some time to take it in… I'll be back tomorrow," "Wait…" she managed to choke out. Tsunade opened her eyes, red and puffy, and stood. At first he didn't understand, but then he saw it. As her hands came down to cradle her stomach again, his eyes widened. "I see…and this is Jiraiya-chan's?" "Yes. Someone needed to know…" The sorrow she had in her eyes was almost too much to bear. She sighed and sat back down, apparently lost in thought again. "Right." He said "I'll be back tomorrow." And he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Tsunade began to break down. Her eyes snapped open and she quickly got out of her chair, the momentum causing it to slam into the wall. Went to the cupboards and grabbed as many bottles of sake as she could carry. She was gone. There was no stopping her now. She didn't care about the paperwork, she didn't care about her condition, all she knew was she was getting too drunk to feel this pain anymore. She threw herself into a corner and poured the first glass down her throat; then another and another.

As she was raising her fourth glass to her lips, something grabbed hold of her arm. Stunned, she turned to face what it was. "What on Earth do you think you're doing?" "Shizune! I…" "Did you honestly think you could just drink sake like this in your condition? You're _pregnant!_" Shizune drew back. Realizing what she just said.

Tsunade was shocked at her words, and immediately regretted it. She knew Shizune was right. Her eyes closed and she bowed her head. Tears found their way through her eyelids and streamed down her face. "Shizune…I…I'm sorry….I..I just…oh Shizune!" She fell to her knees and began sobbing violently. "Tsunade-sama!" Shizune yelled, rushing to her master's side. She put an arm around Tsunade in a feeble attempt to comfort her. With every shaken breath Tsunade took, Shizune could almost feel the pain she felt. It seemed to affect her so much that the pain was almost one that could be felt by those around her. And it pained Shizune to know that she could do nothing but stand and watch. She couldn't take it anymore. Shizune helped her master to her feet. "Come on, Lady Tsunade. You could use some rest.

Tsunade stood and brushed her blonde hair from her eyes, revealing a tear soaked face. A face of many past years of pain and sorrow now coming back to haunt her. She attempted a smile at Shizune, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the pain to go away. She couldn't move. She just wanted to be with the one she loved. The father of her child. Jiraiya. Shizune had never seen Tsunade in such a state before. She somehow looked…incomplete. Like a part of her soul flew off with Jiraiya's spirit.

And those eyes…There were so much sorrow in those eyes that even Shizune could see how much she really loved him. Carefully she led Tsunade back to her bedroom and placed her fragile body on the bed. Immediately, Tsunade curled her knees to her chest and began sobbing softly again. Shizune decided there was nothing more she could do, so without another word, she turned and walked out of the Hokage's room.


End file.
